Showing posts with label 2010. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2010. Show all posts

Monday, January 31, 2011

Poetry that Speaks

dated 14September 2010


Finally a wave of fresh air. Our HOD announced with the utmost of strictness that if we did not attend this seminar, she will stop arranging seminars once and for all. Now seminars happen all throughout the month in the Dept. Of Comparative Literature but few of us ever attend them. When I joined this department, I had the good intention of attending almost every seminar that took place. However over the weeks, months, years, a lethargy (JUites refer to this as "lyadh khawa") grew and the seminars did not do anything to help. I mean while some of them were pretty good, most of them constituted of boring university professors who did nothing more than read from their typed papers. 


Sometimes they were not even audible or clear enough! And they expected us to attend those seminars! In the midst of these event-less and dry seminars, we had a sudden wisp of fresh air when a certain poet from Malta came to lecture. His name is Cassar, Antoine Cassar. And I know, I make it sound like Bond, James Bond. But you guys should know that this post is going to be about this awesome man with a flair for the dramatic (at least that's how it seemed when he recited his multilingual poems).


He began by saying that his seminar was to promote his book, Passport which was a compilation of multilingual poems. Multilingual poems are poems written in more than one language. As a student of CL, I have always been intrigued by , how to say it, "joint ventures". So naturally this intrigued me. He began by saying he will not give us a series of boring lectures but simply read out some of his poems. His first poem was "Rabbit". He told us that we wouldn't understand all the languages employed to write this poem but we should simply go with the flow. 


And it was... beautiful. The way he used different words (of different languages) to describe the sprinting, hopping and graceful jumping of the rabbit astounded us all. Who would have thought that so many different languages could have such similarity-- and that too in merely describing the sprint or hop of a little rodent? 


And then he went to a poem from his book, Passport. It dealt with the tragic life of an illegal immigrant, who is speaking to a guest. The poem begins in the words of this immigrant who welcomes this guest. The word 'Welcome' alone was written in more than seven languages. Then this immigrant begins telling his story to the guest. He explains how they were a happy family with his wife and thirteen children. But one day they found their younger son lying on the field, his leg beside his hand. This sudden description of violence jolted us all. The room was full of students as well as eminent professors and all of us got a big shock. 


The fact that this meek hospitable immigrant could speak of the violence meted out to his family so naturally astounded us all. But violence was a part of his life and so it was natural to him. The poet goes on with the poem where he talks of the other children in this immigrant's life. The poem concludes with the immigrant saying that he has been living in that piece of land for so many years, and then suddenly one morning, armed officials came to inform him that this land,was no longer his. "What am I supposed to do?" he asks regrettably. Reminds one of the days of Partition. People living in a place for years were suddenly asked to leave their homes as that place was no longer "their country" and all because the heads sitting in New Delhi drew borders with sketch pen on a paper map!


Mr.Cassar also went on to talk of the violence he had seen immigrants face. In his own words, he was form Malta which is a small country in Europe. But during his lifetime he had had to move a lot between England and Spain. This had also led to his interested fascination for multilingual poems. He spoke of the thousands of African immigrants who cross the hottest Sahara Desert every year, sometimes by jeep but most often by foot, so that they can enter Europe via Malta. 


Sometimes, these immigrants are captured by the Maltese border force. They have to spend a year in judicial custody after which the government decides whether to send them back or allow them to stay. Most are allowed to stay. But sometimes they are sent back. Once they were sent back to their African nation and the government of that African country ordered the killing of all those civilians. Their fault: They had fled the country because they did not want to join the military, against the government's wishes. All 100 were killed. 


Mr. Cassar also went on to speak about the harassments he had to face because he was from a small nation. With his light hearted touch of humor, he enacted two Bolivian guards who deliberately delayed his permit to the country because they had never heard of his country before. With a deep-set pain somewhere in his voice, he talked of the plight of belonging to a "small" nation; something that Indians will probably never have to deal with. His book Passport, was an attempt in this respect to envision an world, where people would matter more than sketch pens and paper maps; a place where people could travel and communicate freely to each other without any fear of getting shot. Which is precisely why Passport is a book of multilingual poems. 


I realized that multilingual poetry was the next step of Comparative Literature. In a world where single literature disciplines have been deemed grossly inefficient of studying cross culture contact, may be literature written in more than one language was the only way we could finally develop a more harmonious way of looking at cultures. Keeping the multilingual and multicultural context of India in mind, multilingual literature becomes all the more important. The seminar left us a lot of food for thought and made us smile long after it had ended...

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Twilight to Burn Notice!

There comes a time in everybody's life when you need a little self assessment. Now I for one am very fond of self assessments. They are sort of a hobby. When I have nothing to do, I sit back, relax and..think. Weird? Well that's me. The time that I took away from the blog did not mean that I stopped writing completely. I was writing on and off just not on my blog. Exams were okay etc., life is going on the way it has since the beginning of time. My new interests? I just realized that I hardly had four more months before the university kicked me out. I also realized my new found love for my subject. I realized that my student life was coming to an end, like that of my friends. At least since the time we were studying we could at least have this "idea" that we were still kids and hold on to a piece of our childhood. But that period is about to end. Now I know why grownups continue to remember their childhood no matter what.

I have finished about 70 pages of Twilight after 2 years of struggling. It is a good book to read if you are depressed. ONLY if you are depressed. Just the thought that somebody could be so depressed enough to write such a book and there are a million more depressive souls who made it a best seller makes me feel better about myself! But enough of Twilight bashing now. I like vampires, I don't like werewolves much. I can relate to Bella's character a lot, however I have a problem with the presentation of the book. Reading Twilight is like reading a Class V "Children's Bed Time Story" Book. However it surely is a book of one kind. Problem is that I have never fallen in love with guys like Edward before. Attracted may be. But never love. Speaking of which I am really liking the new Hindi serial which is influenced by Twilight. The hero of that series, "Abhay" is "fu**ing hot" to quote one of my friends. She is a die hard Twilight fan but after watching Abhay, she has stopped admiring Pantyson..or whatever his name is.


I wonder how long I will like this series, partly because I am scared to death of Ekta Kapoor serials but I like the youthful vibrancy of this one. Another series that had me hooked up until recently when it ended is "Lie to Me". One of the most educative serials I have seen till date. entertaining too once you got past the entertainment. Analyzing faces while they talk, now that's something. But the series that replaced Lie to Me, the so called "James Bond of TV" got a cynical glance from me at first sight.

I have never been a fan of James Bond before. I find it to be a young man's fantasy of all the toys (gadgets) he can get along with the "hot babes". But...But..BUT.....


Calling Burn Notice a "James Bond" series is insulting it. This is so much more! An ultimate spy story. And the hero! Well intelligence attracts me. Restraint, well even more. This hero does not go around sleeping with the first woman he can get his hands on, this hero is not a show off (like James Bond) is. He is discreet, subtle and boy is he hot! He is NOT good looking. But yes he is soo much more than that! Both Castle and Lie to Me took a long time to give entertaining episodes. But this series is by far the best I have seen. Where do I begin? The episodes, the mastermind, the intense thrill, the brain complete with Weston's cool voice-overs make this show the best spy story ever to be made. Some cool dialogues:

"Some days you have to wonder if the position you are in is the worst you can be in. Fact is, whether you are a soldier captured by enemy forces, or a Burned Spy in Miami without much of anything, the answer is almost always no: It can always get worse."

"Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart."

"Know what it's like being a spy? Like sitting in your dentist's reception area twenty-four hours a day. Read magazines, have coffee, and every so often, someone tries to kill you."

"Asking my mom for something is like asking for a favor from a Russian mob boss, he'll give you what you want with a smile...but you'll pay for it later"

"Some times the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying."

"Thirty years of karate, combat experience on five continents, a rating with every weapon that shoots a bullet or holds an edge... Still haven't found any defense against Mom crying into my shirt."

"One of the things covert operatives have to give up is the idea of a fair fight. Spies are not trained to fight fair. Spies are trained to win."

"You know spies, a bunch of bitchy little girls."- Sam Axe to Michael Westen

"Well in my experience if something seems too good to be true it's best to shoot it just in case."- Fiona Glenanne

These are some of the most awesome Burn Notice quotes. Sam is Michael's friend and Fiona, an ex IRA bomb expert is Michael's ex who helps him on his cases. Together the three of them solve cases and try to find out why Michael was burned and what to do next. Jeffrey Donovan plays Michael Westen with so much credibility that I find it impossible to accept anyone else in his role. A cup of intelligence and action, a spoonful of Michael, a bit of Fiona's violence (which btw only makes her complement Michael when compared to his restraint) and a little of Sam's comedy- and there you have Ta Da... a steaming Hot Burn Notice Episode!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Reign of Dark


I am walking through a lonely road. Columns of trees stare like a giant down on me. It is night. The trees are black, dense and their leaves are fluttering, as if conspiring with each other against the wind. I walk alone, a solitary figure among these demons of darkness. Suddenly there is a noise. I look back but see nothing. I keep on walking. But the noise comes again. I stop. I listen intently. Ssshh......The leaves flutter. The leaves whisper. The trees speak. Behind me are hooded figures. They talk softly. They do not notice me. I hear one of them speaking doubtfully, "Tonight another one has to be sacrificed". The voice is heavy, like that of an old man. I suddenly realize that this is one of my elderly neighbors. The others also seem very familiar, I can recognize them, they are all the elderly neighbors of my colony. Suddenly it strikes me. This is not some unknown place in some unknown world. It is one of the streets outside my housing estate. The road is awfully quiet and there are large columns of trees on both sides. It is night and I am in this road. Whaa? How did I get here? My thoughts are interrupted when I suddenly see an old man snatched away by the wind. Only it wasn't a wind. It was a giant branch.. of a tree, that was up in all furor. The old man was not dressed in hood, it seemed as if he had been kidnapped right from his sleep. I could not see his face properly. But I felt a chill of fear down my spine. The hooded figures began to conspire about who to send next. I see the branches of the trees moving. All around me the trees are walking with their roots. They begin to get denser, the foliage grows blacker. The darkness of the night mixes with the darkness of these giants. I feel something tickle me from behind. I look back. It is a branch. I stop dead in my tracks. God, what would happen now? There was no use running, the branch would snatch me away too. The branch begins sensing me with its tip, going up my stomach to my hands. It is soft, almost like a feather. It itches. My skin flinches. And it is exactly at that point that the branch becomes sharp and cuts my hand. Blood begins to trickle. I am desperate. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. But I have to escape. Escape from Death. And it is at this point, with a desperate attempt that I open my eyes...


It is dark outside. Little diamond droplets of rain fall relentlessly. I heave a sigh of relief.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Darkness Revisited


Melancholy passion-eternal longing-that is what Death in Venice reminds me of. It is so dark, so pessimistic, so charming. Melancholy longing leading the protagonist to his death- a journey towards Hell. Giving up? I don't know. All I know is that I love this ennui. I love this dark enchanting space. I love the Unknown beckoning to me. I love the seduction of Darkness. I love the romance, the adventure, the calling of Dark. I guess that is why the pessimism of Baudelaire fascinates me. If you knew how the seduction of Darkness is, you will know what I mean. It is like a drug, it delves deep into your limbs and numbs them with an euphoric, ecstatic feeling. And every time I drown in this feeling, the nerves throb up in a rapture. They are overtaken by the drug. It spreads..slowly...from the extremities to the vitals. The experience....the experience is like bittersweet venom spreading across you, overtaking your body....extending to your soul. Darkness envelops you, you willingly submit to its charm.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Realization

You were such a good friend and now you are gone too
Go on leave me like all the others do...

A post long overdue. Anger. Despair. Fumes. Fight. Break up. Tears. Disbelief. An essential part of life gone. Fear. Of the Future. What will happen now?How can "you" be gone? Forever? Concert. Music. Fun. Tears at Night. Thinking of You. Thinking how unworthy I am of your friendship. How small am I? You were so important to me but apparently I am not that important to you. Rejected. Dejected. I am replaceable. Dispensable. Unwanted.

Second Phase. Making new Friends. Difficult. Not social enough. But have to get out of the first phase. What's the point? Getting your self respect back; that's the point. You are not dispensable. You are not replaceable. You are not rejected. It is possible for people to love you. Want you. Otherwise, there would be no hope at all. No hope of living. Do you want that? Dunno. Scared. Of both sides. But undertaking a venture, taking a risk, solving a problem given at hand; that's my nature. And the Result....

..is not so bad after all. Loving people are present. For whom I am not dispensable. Who don't only talk to me out of kindness. Who don't only listen to me out of a sense of duty for "friendship". Who really like me for the person that I am. And I am surprised at how much I can achieve. A zest. A vigor. A new spirit fueled by the desire to NOT feel bad. NOT be melancholy even though that was the original nature. To NOT be pessimistic. Have to prove something. I can live without you. Look, how happy I am. I was not so happy when I was with you! Inwardly missing you. But the tears are gone. Gradually replaced by the happy memories of the friendship that once existed. This time it was not just a word. This time it was over, for final.

But it was good while it lasted. May be it was for the best. I was getting more and more dependent on you. And it does not work if it's one way. It becomes a burden to the other person, a source of embarrassment to the one. Fear of rejection is always present. It is better to harbor such feelings for someone who would appreciate it. The wound heals up gradually. New friends stir life up. Learn to depend on them. On her. The Lady with the Golden Smile. Would she leave me too? She says she won't. She knows about the past. But no one knows about the future, right? But this is good while it still lasts.

This lady has a lot of friends too. But she never ignores me. She cares for me. She listens to me. Never says she is too busy to talk to me. It's more of a "real relationship" than a "virtual" one. I guess that's why her words make clearer sense. Past feelings, past people however still haunt. Hence deletion of account. A new life. In the "real" world.

Optimism. Strength. Value of Oneself. Hope. Courage. Conviction that I am right...

Realization of own mistakes. Trying to rectify them. But you did not accept. Sad. A Bit Angry. But the feeling of loss is gone. A renewed strength and spirit. Your wish. I tried..

Third Phase. A message. Formal talks. Ice starts to break. Felt nice. But do I want to go back in time again? Wasn't it all over? How can I start it all over again? Difficult. Is so much of intimacy good? After all it's again going to end on a sore note. Confusion. You are nice. Friendly. The qualities I admired in you once. You say you were never serious about the fight. But I was. So...? Where does it go from here?

I don't want to hurt you. But I also don't want to get hurt again. I am over you. Done depending on you. You ask me what is wrong. I refuse. Don't want to rely on you again. Unforgiving? More like timid. You left everything broken. I alone had to build from scratch. Now I am sane. I am happy. Now you have returned. But I am scared of being broken down again. I am scared of getting rejected. Again.

Thankfully, I have a strong mind to think things out. Things are not as simple as they seem. I still like you. I still want to be your friend. But at what cost? Sure it's not worth it to submit oneself completely to someone? And then be rejected? How would you feel if something like that happened to you?

But that's the point. You have lots of friends. You will never have to feel the pathos of loving and not getting loved in return. I on the other hand cannot afford that luxury. The handful of friends that I have, I intend to keep each one of them. None of them is replaceable. Dispensable. No, not even you. You will always be you. No one will take your place. But the way I was once with you...I don't want to be like that with you again just to make you happy. It would be kindness and a duty for friendship, but not from the heart.

Your place in my heart was empty. You have come to reclaim that place. You are away. I feel a vacuum. I feel an empty space. I miss you. But I am scared to admit it. I am scared to feel it. To express it. You expect me to feel for you the same way as I once did. You are physically absent. I get angry. How can you expect me to feel things when you are away on such short notice. I didn't think I would miss you. But now I do.

You are persuasive. Bright and optimistic. But I am not as courageous as you. The fear of rejection from you still persists.

I need to find a balance.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Her Best Friend


Let me tell you a story. The story of a poor princess and her best friend. The twist in the tale lies in the fact that this friend was a frog. So what? We have seen humans and animals bond before haven't we? These two were the best of friends. Here is how the story goes.

'You go on carrying your daily work with no idea of the future to come. You live your life the way you have led it for the past thousand years. And then a frog comes. He lights your way up. You start appreciating the good things in life. This friend becomes your best friend. You start depending on this frog. But then the dependence keeps on increasing and you start taking things a bit too personally. You forget that he is just a little frog and you begin ascribing human attributes to him. You start reacting vulnerably to his light spirited hops and jumps.

And all this keeps on increasing the distance between you two. I dunno whether he simply starts taking her for granted or he fails to understand why she behaves like this. He is a freedom craving frog and you can never keep him in a cage. But what about this fear..this fear of losing him..that may be he will jump away so far that you will not be able to reach out to him..he will grow so distant that your voice won't reach him?

One of my friends used to say, "You can never keep with you what is never yours". She was true. But our princess didn't know that. She began to write poems and pieces for him and never showed or read them to him, thinking only about him, dreaming of him- was it more than just friendship? Yes it was. Dammit, a frog can't read. Hell it probably doesn't even feel like a human being. But our princess was too blind to see that. He was her best friend. He brought her happiness. Best friends share everything. Don't they?

But her definition of friendship did not necessarily match with his idea of the same. The way she carried on her sense of reality did not necessarily match with his. And invariably it happened. Her dream broke. It was a fairy tale, guess it had to be over someday. There was no "happily ever after". Her frog, her charming little prince did not kiss her and make her a princess. All of you know this part of the story. There is nothing new in here. But what hurt her the most? His inability to love her?

No, it was his inability to maintain their friendship. It was his inability to give her the same respect as she did to him. He was not replaceable to her. He was her best friend. But she was replaceable to him. And it was this indifference that hurt her the most. She did not expect him to kiss her. But she did expect him to be her friend, to be by her side, to care for her. He didn't. He failed. She was committed to their friendship. He was not.

But I guess you cannot blame him for it, can you? My friend says, friendship like love cannot be one-sided. It has to be both ways. And if it isn't, well then it isn't friendship. So with a heavy heart, our Cinderella had to forget about her best friend. One day she held him lightly. He did not even take a second look but jumped away. Escaped through the window. Our Cinderella felt that may be she was stifling him all these days. I doubt if the frog had any feelings at all though. But with a heavy heart, our Cinderella threw him a flying kiss. But by then he had gone afar. He never looked back.

Our Cinderella was sad for many days. She contemplated not living as life without her best friend, without her frog,meant nothing to her. But time heals every wound. Our Cinderella recovered, she healed. She found happy kids who made her realize that the sun smiled down on her. But at nights she used to cry for her frog. Till suddenly one day, she realized that her feelings for her dear little frog had gone away.

The realization hit her like hard cold ice. She felt at peace but felt a strange coldness in herself. She tried to search for love, for friendship deep within her heart. But all those feelings had left her with her frog. That part of her heart had been numbed forever. Cinderella realized that she would never be able to love again, she would never be able to feel for anyone ever again. Her frog had taken her warmth along with him. '

And thus ends our not-so-happy fairy tale. I know it does not have a happy ending, but ah well, what did ya expect? It was not out of a Disney movie anyway. ;)

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Cute Guys

So what's wrong with the Almighty Creator? Why does he have to make beautiful girls all around but no good looking guys? You know how it goes? Good looking guys are not nice. Good looking nice guys are committed. And good looking nice single guys are gay. :(


It's so hard to find a good looking guy who would also be a good conversationalist. Most of us have to prioritize on one or more of the features if we want to "like" a guy. So imagine my surprise when after waiting for about 4 and a half years on the university campus I genuinely found not one but several cute lovely looking guys!! Imagine my surprise, my hysteria! It was as if I had found a diamond in the rough. At least I was so smitten by them when I found them on one of the social networking sites. I am jumping, jumping, jumping now! Yuppieee!

Rukte hain kahan hum roke se
Chalte hain hawa ke jhonke se
Apni toh aisi hai zindagi
Yehi apni adaa hai kya karein
Koi bura jo maane kya karein
Humse toh hai khafa ab sabhi
Jaane do chodo bhi


Talking of cute guys, I dreamed of an old flame today evening. Well okay fine, I have a thing for cute guys. And he was cute. And cool. Absolutely thanda thanda cool cool. Which is what I liked about him. But I dreamed of him in relation to death. I guess the reason for it was that I was reading a novel where the main character had just died. And the father of one of my students had just expired. So when I woke up, I was left with a nagging feeling of why I dreamed of him in relation to death. So anyways, it's always nice to find a cute guy in real life (considering all of them are mostly found in movies or serials: from leos to shahids to aijaz khans to amit varmas). So yes, right now I am ecstatic..regarding these guys. It never hurts to see a cute face staring at you ..blah blah blah..you get my drift. Particularly cute guys make me feel happy when I'm in a sour mood. So that's what I do when I'm in a bad mood or need some entertainment.



When it comes to movies or serials, I can list a series of names when it comes to cute guys. But I won't bore you with that list. Cute guys- are mostly young guys, even if they are old...they should have a younger charm about them. Leo is probably the best example in this respect. And to talk of Indians, who can forget Shahid and Ranbir? Truly they are the present heart throbs of Generation Y. And when it comes to Hollywood, need I even mention a list? It is always full of hotties and cuties and both!! Take for example, Steven Strait. The charmer charmed everyone with his magical powers in The Covenant.


When Leo acted in the Titanic for the first time, people around were really surprised. They had seen this guy act before but Titanic was definitely one of the turning points in Leo's life. One that made girls sit up and notice him and he was to become the blue-eyed boy of Hollywood for a long time to come. However Leo never limited himself to romantic roles. Rather he kept on taking up different challenging roles that explored his acting abilities right from The Gangs of New York to Catch Me if you Can.

Well, happy cute guys inspire cute happy posts. Pray that the Almighty creates more of these startling precious pieces! :P

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Parting



Have been reading some fun blog posts for quite a while....they have become my favorites within a very short span of time...while one deals with relationships, the other one clearly is about weird and funny ideas. Change is good. Change is constant. I recently saw Inception. I was about to write a blog post on that but then decided against it. Part of the reason is that I had a lot of questions regarding the movie and needed to do research on them. Part of the reason is that seeing a movie like Inception once is not enough to write a post on it. I am seeing a new side of life now..spending more time in the real world than virtual world. I daresay, it has done me more good than bad. As a matter of fact, I am quite enjoying it. This is the last year of university. My last semester results were not good, at least by my standards. Since this is the last year, I want to give it my best effort. It's still difficult to accept that within another year, this university will not remain mine any more! So now even while running late to my classes every morning, I spare a sec to feel and watch the air, the grass, the lake, the seats, the ledge, the corridors, the buildings and the canteens of my uni.... 18 years of studying and it's all going to be over soon..I can feel what my engineering mates felt in the beginning of this year, now. Fresh views, fresh guys..yupsy they ARE cute! Ah finally! As a matter of fact one of them is in one of my class. The other in my department! Yippeee! I love my courses. Well I always did. But this time, I am actually studying, or at least trying to, till now. I am trying not to miss my classes. Making an effort. Today for instance, we spent one class listening to Latin American music. No notes, just the splendor and vibrancy of Latin American music for the course. Reminds me time and again why I love CL so much! I wish these years would not go so soon by. Still remember the first day of college. We were newcomers then and now, in a matter of time, we have become the senior most class in the dept. We have grown old. :(


I never thought I wud miss my school. But six months before I left school, I began feeling nostalgic about it. I never ever thought I would miss JU. But...




This place has a growing quality; it grows on you. I was a critic of the place when I first came here. The liberation, the freedom was too much for me to take; one who has always been a staunch supporter of rules and regulations. But this university, my department showed me new directions; opened my arena. What if I am given a choice whether or not to follow rules? Surely I'm a grown up individual and can take my own decisions? What if I am not a bad person just because I smoke or drink? I don't support either of these activities even now but the way I used to view smokers as "bad" people; that view has changed. JU has opened up possibilities; possibilities I never knew existed before. Well you know what they say. Once a JUite, always a JUite!


A lot of time has passed since my last personal post. Was reading the blog on relationships and felt it was time to write one post for myself, about me. Sure clouds still darken my sky however now I'm optimistic, I'm happy.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Less of Words

So it's been a while since I sat down with my pen and paper, oops I meant keyboard and blog. I have been writing quite frequently just not in my blogs. Exams have been over for quite a while and this has provided me the opportunity of doing some thinking. Well "thinking" is my fav. past time. I am reminded of a Russell Peters video now where the comedian said that all women do is think think think all the time. While men can look at a wall and "absolutely think of Nothing!!" That was one hell of a video! All this while it has been a pleasant time with new experiences, meeting new people and learning new things about old ones. A bit tensed regarding the future. And I so want to get out of here. It's already stuffed up and suffocating. For now I have nothing else to write, would get back to you guys later. Ciao.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Hurray its 2010!

Hurray it's 2010! Dance around everyone..pretend to be happy..pose for the camera....Even if you are dying inside, make a smiling face..at least for the camera folks..

Rage, hurt, despair, these are the emotions engulfing me now.I guess I will just take a chill pill, what say folks? After all, that is all you need to enjoy life..Chilling.

Now now my readers might be wondering what the enormous burst of sarcasm for? They just expect innocent good little honest posts from my blog. But a little bit of sarcasm is not bad all the time, what say? After all when everyone is enjoying and no one is forcing you to do anything (or anybody), why the sadness? Why the despair? You take your own decisions right? The only way people take advantage of you is when you allow them to. Right? We are all "modern" individuals here. We take our own decisions, we do not let anything bad happen to us and if we are not happy with ourselves- it is our fault! C'mon welcome life with wide open arms, and life will welcome you. What are you sad for? What are you hurt for? Everyone keep smiling in the land of God, opportunities..blah blah

And don't let anyone see your tears, or feel your fears, coz they won't understand. They never do, do they? You pretend to be happy and they are all over you. You show your vulnerabilities and they either take advantage of you or glorify themselves at your expense. Marvelous, isn't it? What a pretty little world with pretty little people! Small minds, small hearts. You are weak, you can't take the brutal force of life, so you do not have any right to participate in the rat race (are you a rat btw?) You worry too much, you are too sensitive, you are not fit for today's world. Be strong, be independent. Give your best. Don't depend on people too much. Has anyone ever told them that animals are much better than human beings?

They do not want you to be like them, they accept you the way you are. I know now why I was always a misfit among human beings. Unsocial, selfish- I am not new to these words. May be it's for the best. Get your work done, trample these little insects and show their rightful place to where they really belong. Coz that's what human beings are there for- to be taken advantage of. Be strong, be independent.

This new year I take a resolution, I will trample as many of these little insects as I can, take advantage of them, show their rightful place. Nice hobby it will be. Business and pleasure both achieved all at once! As they say, the wolf in disguise is more dangerous than the tiger in front of you. ;)

Till then, SSshhhhh.....Don't tell anyone!