Saturday, May 30, 2009

Hmm..what am I thinkin' ?

Finally exams are over. The last few months of my college days have been very educative. It was interesting to see different facets of individuals. Made new friendships, some old ones got broken. But everything does not stay with you for the whole time, does it? But it is interesting to meet new people and see their versions of life. A lot of my classmates will not be back with us for post graduation. I will miss them. Three years passed like three weeks. Can't believe just three years earlier, I was a fresher about to set my foot in one of the most prestigious universities of India. And now, I am a senior! Three years earlier, I was scared of being ragged. Now I have the ability to rag people. But I have not ragged any of my juniors. And nowadays freshers are smarter than what we were at their stage.

Times pass by so quickly. I remember it took me twelve years to love my school. And even after that I was glad that I was leaving it. But about six months before leaving school, my nostalgia about the institution started. I hardly missed any fellow student or teacher but I did miss the building. Even now I have sudden flashes of memory where I can see the school building, its corridors, the auditorium and of course my favorite place, the library. I still miss the library. All those story books which I had a mind to finish! Now I deal in literature but somehow that urge is gone. My text books form a good piece of literature but I don't succeed in finishing them only. My book shelf is full of thrillers which I intend to finish someday in future.

Would I really miss JU if I left it? I don't know. I am slow to liking and slow to getting over it! Three years. I have grown up so much. I have learned so much. My views have been shaken up, tossed and put in a whirlwind and been revolved upside down. I am proud to be a Compli'tian. Comparative Literature has opened my eyes and exposed me to so many different kinds of views.

My hunger for knowledge has further been saturated by the Diploma in Social work that I undertook in the first year. And the course in Basic Skills in Conflict Management has made me see the world from different perspectives. It has enabled me to understand human beings better. Though I always fear that it will hamper my ability as a writer- rob me of the power to have critical perspectives, but hey, I have just begun to learn. There's a lot more left to know. If I survive it. God, seeing other people from their perspectives can be so difficult! And you have to mingle the right amount of empathy with the right amount of assertion to make your point clear. It all seems so impossible! I don't know whether I will be able to do it ever. I am a human being, after all.

I tend to be judgmental, I tend to be unreasonable at times. And I am not ashamed of it. As I tell one of my close friends, "It's either my way or the highway!" Lols!! I am not that dominating. But yes, I believe that if I can't be the real 'me' with my near and dear ones, then there is really no point in calling them my close friends. Oops. Sorry. This was something that friend had told me! I believe her.

I have met some really special people in the last few months of my graduation. I don't know how long we will be together. As a matter of fact, I have already fought with two of them. But I am lucky to have them in my life. I am lucky to have all of my "friends" in my life. And by "friends" I don't mean acquaintances. I mean those few people who know me, love me and accept me the way I am. And yes, if they are reading this, they better know that it is not going to change a thing between us. I will still fight with them if I don't like something. Hehehe....

Remember, "it's either my way or the highway". :P

By the way life becomes much more joyful and special with them by my side...

Till next time, Adieos!


RAY7 said...

A new post after a long time. Reminds of how I was feeling when I gave the final exams about a month back. Simply written. I should take a leaf out of your book and reduce the length of my sentences, something which Sujata Mam used to remind me in every class! Hopefully you would be more regular from now on. Looking forward to your next post.
PS : You can't even hurt a fly Dipz, and you talk of ragging?? :P

the silent observer said...

hehehe Thank you..But it was not because of hurting people but because of my principles that I refrained from ragging. But youngsters nowadays are more open to the concept of ragging and more forthcoming...

Thanks for complimenting my writing style. But that is something which does not satisfy me even now.As for your style, it is wonderful and honest. :D

Phoenix said...

this post was a revelation! really felt nice to peak into a side to you that is not so visible.... :) really nice post.. made me go all nostalgic about JU

AD said...

"Remember, "it's either my way or the highway". :P"
hahaha absolutely thinking nothing :D

the silent observer said...

@ Raka

thanks dear..

@ AD

thinking something,ofcourse.. :P

The Reaper said...

well the from the first day to the last one.... the journey and the memories u leave with..... all these things comin rushin in once u leave that place.... but nicely dun... carry on girl... wud love to read sum nu stuff from u....

the silent observer said...

Thank You, Shouvik! You are kind :)

Tiger Lily said...

ah well!.
to begin with.
u've been one of my fav seniors.
ive told u b4.
im glad ur staying.
yes. i know u wud miss ju if u left.
u know that too.
i luv u for the person u are.
i hav gradually luvd the ug-3's
i have fought with them too.
u didnt rag us. but there were ppl whu did. and im glad they broke the ice.
ur a part of the beautiful poignant outspoken bright crayon painting that i have in my mind when i think of the ppl rite next to my class when i was ug-1
im glad they were there.
and im glad some of u are staying.
luv u.

the silent observer said...

Thank You so much. This really means a lot!

Astraeus said...

very interesting this is!
love reading these post-yet-not-quite-there-nostalgic posts. No i am not being sarcastic. I am quite pleasantly surprised that this side of yours has finally been made public.

the icing on the cake was of course. 'Its my way or the highway!' It should be copyrighted i tell you


the silent observer said...

I never pretended to be something I was not. If people misunderstood me, that was not my fault. I am a private person however and like to keep my life private. Thanks for your comment Rohit. :)