The Last Kiss

     

It was the onset of my last semester exam. I had just returned from a trip to the mountains. A friend studying in film school messaged me saying that she wanted me to play the lead in her next film. Ami Toh Sunei Attohara ('Listening to this I was overjoyed'). I held my breath steadily for the rest of the exam. What fun! Me acting in a movie! Wow..That had been a dream, since like a decade! I have always wanted to direct movies. The creative potential of the director always intrigued me. It also occurred to me that if I could not be the director, then at least I could be an actor, as then I would be able to actually act it out...So I waited. With patience. 

I asked my friend twice about the script and she said she would work on it as soon as she was finished with the heavier stuff. So I waited. With Bated Breath. After that, the time came. My friend met me one day to narrate to me the script of the movie. I listened quietly. The role was so intense that I could not say anything immediately. Just my kind of role; the kind I would love to do. And thus began our work.

We sat with the script one day. Another evening, I spent around 2 hours in the university acting out my role and discussing with her. One Saturday several still shots were taken. Further discussion was made with my co star. And shooting began from Monday. It was scheduled to happen for only two days, that is, Monday and Tuesday (Jan 10 and 11, 2011). Call Time was 6 am. :D Big Laugh. For any of the ones who know me, this is a big joke! I CANNOT ever get up early in the morning. 


As a matter of fact I am always late for my morning classes! My friend, the director knew this very well. So she chose to call me at 5:20 am! I opened my eyes, saw the phone ringing and strove to pick it up. But the ringing had stopped. And I chose to concentrate on the next best thing- trying to wake my mother up with whatever little sense I had so that she would in turn wake me up properly! (Yes I can be a very spoilt child st times. :|)

My Director called me up 20 times after that. I did not pick up the phone. Mostly coz of the fact that I was busy getting ready for the shoot and partly because I was scared she would shout at me. I said I would be at the shooting spot by 7:30 am. I was only 15 minutes late, which is acceptable by me. My Director knowing me inside out told me very directly, "Call Time is at 6 am. When will you be able to come?" I almost burst out laughing. So anyways I went on the shooting spot and soon I discovered that I was being treated like a star...It was amazing. 

Here I was sitting in the sun giving some expressions and there were bright young people with camera, sound and a bunch of other technical stuff who were doing a whole lot of physical and mental labor and I was the Star! I also discovered that even if there are two scenes in a movie, all those scenes have at least 50 shots which makes it all the more painstaking. I might be doing the same action over and over again but they take it from at least 5 different camera angles. Combine this with the sound systems and the technical snags that happen and film making is one hell of a project! I vowed that I will not act in movies ever after this project! Needless to say though, it was tremendous fun. Got to know a lot, see a lot.


The first day came to a halt. Ah finally. Sweet Bliss. I asked my Director friend when will it GET OVER? She smiled. She knew that one day of shooting was enough for me. 


The Second Day.


We prepared for a tough shoot. The final shots of the climactic scene had to be shot today. This was shot in the highest point of the college building. The Roof. It might sound very simple but it was not. We had to climb the stairs to a terrace of the main building. From their we took spiral steps only to come to a roof on an even elevated level. To reach that roof, one had to traverse through a couple of narrow cemented steps that did not have any railing. getting up was fine; it was coming down that made my heart skip a beat. Literally. So from that roof we had to go round till we came to a ladder- well not really ladder as it had a strong iron railing to go get up to the roof where the finale was shot. 

The roof was similar to the one in 3 Idiots, though the shots and frame are different in this movie. The director lost her cool and so did I during this part of the shooting. The only two people keeping their cool were my co-star and our cinematographer. My esteemed director became frustrated and threw away her notes and shot synopsis. The crew was scared to death of her. The rest of the shots progressed as they should, lots of edgy interactions between me and my friend. By the end of the shoot, I was extremely irritated and she was completely exhausted. And thus ended our extremely eventful shoot. :P 


Waiting to see the Final Print Out. 

Parting

Have been reading some fun blog posts for quite a while....they have become my favorites within a very short span of time...while one deals with relationships, the other one clearly is about weird and funny ideas. Change is good. Change is constant. I recently saw Inception. I was about to write a blog post on that but then decided against it. Part of the reason is that I had a lot of questions regarding the movie and needed to do research on them. Part of the reason is that seeing a movie like Inception once is not enough to write a post on it. I am seeing a new side of life now..spending more time in the real world than virtual world. I daresay, it has done me more good than bad. As a matter of fact, I am quite enjoying it. This is the last year of university. My last semester results were not good, at least by my standards. Since this is the last year, I want to give it my best effort. It's still difficult to accept that within another year, this university will not remain mine any more! So now even while running late to my classes every morning, I spare a sec to feel and watch the air, the grass, the lake, the seats, the ledge, the corridors, the buildings and the canteens of my uni.... 18 years of studying and it's all going to be over soon..I can feel what my engineering mates felt in the beginning of this year, now. Fresh views, fresh guys..yupsy they ARE cute! Ah finally! As a matter of fact one of them is in one of my class. The other in my department! Yippeee! I love my courses. Well I always did. But this time, I am actually studying, or at least trying to, till now. I am trying not to miss my classes. Making an effort. Today for instance, we spent one class listening to Latin American music. No notes, just the splendor and vibrancy of Latin American music for the course. Reminds me time and again why I love CL so much! I wish these years would not go so soon by. Still remember the first day of college. We were newcomers then and now, in a matter of time, we have become the senior most class in the dept. We have grown old. :(

I never thought I wud miss my school. But six months before I left school, I began feeling nostalgic about it. I never ever thought I would miss JU. But...

This place has a growing quality; it grows on you. I was a critic of the place when I first came here. The liberation, the freedom was too much for me to take; one who has always been a staunch supporter of rules and regulations. But this university, my department showed me new directions; opened my arena. What if I am given a choice whether or not to follow rules? Surely I'm a grown up individual and can take my own decisions? What if I am not a bad person just because I smoke or drink? I don't support either of these activities even now but the way I used to view smokers as "bad" people; that view has changed. JU has opened up possibilities; possibilities I never knew existed before. Well you know what they say. Once a JUite, always a JUite!

A lot of time has passed since my last personal post. Was reading the blog on relationships and felt it was time to write one post for myself, about me. Sure clouds still darken my sky however now I'm optimistic, I'm happy.

Oedipus and The Human Condition

And here I am jumbling meaningless sh*t again, for no fault of mine. Oedipus Tyrannos- a fascinating text. Sir taught about the human condition today- precarious and unpredictable. So why does Oedipus go on searching for the truth when blissful ignorance surrounds him? Why do I take responsibility of a matter when there is nothing I can do about it? But you know what's more incredible? The human condition. The fact that people become so defensive when you hit (however unwittingly) at a person's soft spot.

A likes C. A tells that to B. B talks to D and says that A cares for C a lot. D says that to A. A feels bad. A accuses B of breaking A's trust. B tries to explain. B calls D up immediately and asks D to explain things to A. But A refuses to listen. Just plain listen. Even with the phone on, loudspeaker on, A refuses to listen.

Why does A refuse to listen? Does B feel bad? Don't ask me, ask them.

B has own insecurities. Like Oedipus, B has sworn to find the truth. B has to protect her reputation. B has to normalize her friendship with A. B can't let A talk bad about her in public. B is shy. B is scared. B, in one word, is a coward, afraid of people and what they say. But what about A?

Why is A so defensive? Isn't C just a friend? Why mind so much even if someone talks about it? Aah..friendship. A terrible thing. You know someone for ages. Sat beside him. Attended countless lectures. Looked into his eyes. Seen his loneliness. Why can't he be a little more matured? Why doesn't he see he's my best friend? Such an obnoxious childish fellow! Can't he see he hurts me so much by his indifference, his arrogance? Imbecile! Look at what you have done! Now others are saying I am obsessing about you! My friends think I talk of you all the time. What do they know? You are the one at fault. Not me! How dare they talk about me like this? And how dare, you, YOU of all people hurt me like this? Don't you know I miss you? Can't you see I HATE YOU?

P.S: All characters in this post are fictitious and any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. :P

Hmm..what am I thinkin' ?

Finally exams are over. The last few months of my college days have been very educative. It was interesting to see different facets of individuals. Made new friendships, some old ones got broken. But everything does not stay with you for the whole time, does it? But it is interesting to meet new people and see their versions of life. A lot of my classmates will not be back with us for post graduation. I will miss them. Three years passed like three weeks. Can't believe just three years earlier, I was a fresher about to set my foot in one of the most prestigious universities of India. And now, I am a senior! Three years earlier, I was scared of being ragged. Now I have the ability to rag people. But I have not ragged any of my juniors. And nowadays freshers are smarter than what we were at their stage.

Times pass by so quickly. I remember it took me twelve years to love my school. And even after that I was glad that I was leaving it. But about six months before leaving school, my nostalgia about the institution started. I hardly missed any fellow student or teacher but I did miss the building. Even now I have sudden flashes of memory where I can see the school building, its corridors, the auditorium and of course my favorite place, the library. I still miss the library. All those story books which I had a mind to finish! Now I deal in literature but somehow that urge is gone. My text books form a good piece of literature but I don't succeed in finishing them only. My book shelf is full of thrillers which I intend to finish someday in future.

Would I really miss JU if I left it? I don't know. I am slow to liking and slow to getting over it! Three years. I have grown up so much. I have learned so much. My views have been shaken up, tossed and put in a whirlwind and been revolved upside down. I am proud to be a Compli'tian. Comparative Literature has opened my eyes and exposed me to so many different kinds of views.

My hunger for knowledge has further been saturated by the Diploma in Social work that I undertook in the first year. And the course in Basic Skills in Conflict Management has made me see the world from different perspectives. It has enabled me to understand human beings better. Though I always fear that it will hamper my ability as a writer- rob me of the power to have critical perspectives, but hey, I have just begun to learn. There's a lot more left to know. If I survive it. God, seeing other people from their perspectives can be so difficult! And you have to mingle the right amount of empathy with the right amount of assertion to make your point clear. It all seems so impossible! I don't know whether I will be able to do it ever. I am a human being, after all.

I tend to be judgmental, I tend to be unreasonable at times. And I am not ashamed of it. As I tell one of my close friends, "It's either my way or the highway!" Lols!! I am not that dominating. But yes, I believe that if I can't be the real 'me' with my near and dear ones, then there is really no point in calling them my close friends. Oops. Sorry. This was something that friend had told me! I believe her.

I have met some really special people in the last few months of my graduation. I don't know how long we will be together. As a matter of fact, I have already fought with two of them. But I am lucky to have them in my life. I am lucky to have all of my "friends" in my life. And by "friends" I don't mean acquaintances. I mean those few people who know me, love me and accept me the way I am. And yes, if they are reading this, they better know that it is not going to change a thing between us. I will still fight with them if I don't like something. Hehehe....

Remember, "it's either my way or the highway". :P

By the way life becomes much more joyful and special with them by my side...

Till next time, Adieos!