Friday, June 26, 2009

May Be...

Tears crawl down silently by the side of her face. She is hurt, like the so many times she has been before. Hopelessness, depression surround her like long lost friends. Her face is salty. She is lonely. Nobody has seen her cry. She cannot let them see the soft tears beneath her tough exterior. She argues, she fights. She slams down the phone with inexpressible might. She is rude. But deep down, may be she is just hurt. Deep down, may be she is just scared of being left alone, of being rejected by her loved ones. Deep down may be she cannot stand the injustice meted out by others to her loved ones. May be, deep down she just curses herself for not being able to fight back.

Does she not try to overcome this? She does, doesn't she? Then why suddenly she behaves like this all of a sudden? Why is all this poise just a mask to cover up her delicate balance which borders on the verge of sanity and madness? Why do people take her to be a proud vain snob when inside she is being torn apart by their sneers? Why can't people see her sensitive heart?

May be because she does not want them to see. May be because she is too scared of getting hurt. May be because if people come to know of it, they might hurt her even more. People think her to be strong, they think she is a very gutsy lady. She speaks her mind out, she goes with her head held high. But they never see the fear within. The fact that she is not one of them because she is scared of being rejected by them. She speaks her mind out, apparently but that might only be the half truth. May be she is just too scared of speaking anything at all, afraid of all the jeers that she might have to face. May be she is afraid to behave otherwise, because that is how people have come to know her- a snobbish little girl and she is scared even to prove them wrong. May be...

3 comments:

RAY7 said...

I was obnoxious enough to think that the post was about me and get mad for mam's attempt to judge me. :( Only shows how unkindly honest her words are. Even though we don't like them, the truth never does change. Maybe it's better not knowing oneself.

Astraeus said...

hey, i think i understand this post. Don't worry we all create various faces for ourselves to survive, to live to be one of 'them' Masquerading our thoughts and suppressing it but only the heart knows the turmoil and fear that takes place every time the mask is slipped off afraid of it coming off

*Hug*

the silent observer said...

@ Rohit

I was not exactly talking about the fear that would follow the exposure of the real face. Yes that is surely an aspect, but the purpose of this post was the creation of hope and a world where the protagonist could be herself and not fear about the world.