Tuesday, January 24, 2012

5 Different Types of Perverts

My content seems to have taken a swing towards the mundane and daily from yesteryear dreamy posts. Sure enough I miss it but what can I do when there are so many humorously pathetic characters around? This post is dedicated to some of them.

Most women travelling by public transport or alone will have faced more than one of the following pathetic sad perverts.

1. The Look-around Guy- He keeps on staring at you, at your "assets" all the time never making a move. If you look at him once, he immediately turns away possibly ashamed at getting caught. These seem to be some of the more shameful types; whose perversion is limited to staring at your body parts.

2. The Laid back Guy- Quite literally. No matter how much space is there on the bus, he will always "fall back" upon you. You move to a side, turn away from him, but sure enough, his whole weight is concentrated upon you. And mind you, NONE of them have ripped figures to boast of. Most of them, to put it bluntly are quite overweight. Lord save you from getting sandwiched if you are sitting next to one of them. When you glare at them, they move away. Then after a few minutes, the bus keeps on jerking and he keeps on falling back upon you. And when they get down, and you glare at them, there is a smirk on the corner of their face; making you want to slap them with your chappals. Jerking back on you is by far their largest achievement in life.

3. The Disappointingly Attractive Guy- Sure enough, in the midst of rush hour traffic, sweaty fights to get one seat in a public vehicle and relentless waiting for hours, once in a while, you might find a guy who is reasonable attractive. He might even remind you of some celebrity like Rafael Nadal ( I kid you not, I met such a guy once!). So then, since celebrities are some of the most over-hyped people on earth, you quickly lose all sense of difference between a magical media-created celebrity and a flesh & blood person. 

He opens the door of the shuttle, lets you take the window seat and you can't help thinking, "Wow, this guy is pretty good to me, eh? Nice of him.." And then he is pretty decent for the first hour of the ride or so, but then he begins to fall back on you like the No. 2 kind of pervert. Surprisingly you don't mind, because let's face it, he was somewhat chivalrous ( I wanted to mean this word, ironically all I could think of was the word, 'chauvinistic'. :|). 

Another half hour into the ride and he starts touching you on the arm. You think you have misunderstood the touch or something (I don't know what that means but yes, you try to look for the positive desperately), till it becomes increasingly clear that the guy has no intention of even seeming to be nice. And what you feel at that moment, for lack of  a better expression is, "Et tu Dude?" You too? 

Pathetic perverts are many but this kind of pervert is seriously annoying. I mean, you handle all kinds of jerks everyday but this kind of meeting a jerk who "appears" to be reasonably attractive and well groomed is seriously disappointing. 

You move a bit further to the window giving him a clear indication that he should keep his hands under control. You don't even look at him coz the disappointment is enough to cause you nagging anger and you are more likely to punch him not so much for his jerkish behavior as for his shoving your dream guy ideal into a pool of cold water.

4. Hit & Miss Guy- Crowded public places see a proliferation of these guys. I once ran two stops to catch one such guy and then had him beaten by a flock of strangers who thought he was a pickpocket. Pity they wouldn't have behaved the same way if they had known he was an eve-teaser. These perverts are lurking in the crowd, may be out for a tea break or something, but whenever they see a girl, their first intention is to run and touch her. Preferably the rear. Coz its easy to touch and run. Also it's difficult for the girl to turn back and charge at the person than when she is touched in the front. Cowards again. But oh what pleasure there is to touch her! I bet their fathers did the same thing to them. 

5. Lap Top- Often times, when you are sitting next to this guy, he will begin behaving like the No. 2 Laid back Guy. The only difference is that, he does not stop at leaning on you; he steadily graduates from leaning to dangerously placing his hands on you. If the bus is crowded or you have a bag on your lap and are thinking of something else, you might think that he is leaning because he is asleep. But then, move away your bag, and quite possibly, you will find his finger on your leg. It happens. So does shit. But shit is normal. Is this normal too? I don't know. Enlighten me.

These are the five kinds of perverts I could think of. Do you know of more? Write back. 


Ajesh said...

Well depicted. Sadly, this is the truth on most of the public vehicles. Btw, I can add a few more... because I've closely watched some jerks doing such shitty things and get beaten up by other passengers. To say it truthfully, I wanted to leave your blog the moment I arrived because of the graveyard appearance. Glad I didn't and finished reading this post.

Trisha said...

thanks for stopping by ajesh...keep coming back, you know appearances cna be deceptive ;)

btw you saw similar jerks being 'beaten up'? I long to stay in such a society, where was this?

Ajesh said...

I live in Kolkata. First time I saw public reacting against these hoodlums was on a bus near Presidency, College Street.

Sometimes I feel ashamed to be a man when I see another one of my species is staring at a girl or a woman and her body parts like a vulture allured by a dead body.

Unknown said...

No wonder so many women as they get older have so much anxiety. Creeps and players trying to get into your pants and ogle from the time you are 5. Moved in with a 70yr old guy and he is kinda pervy...wish I had known as would not have moved in. Talks like let me be your daddy and whispering about removing underwear like when he was 15. WTF. Grow up. I don't want anything more to do with him....lost respect....always on his terms. A gentelman does not talk of other women from the past. He only has eyes for his lady...his queen. She is not an object. She is his one love and friend and she smiles a lot cause she does not need to worry. She will do anything for him if he is not a pervy fake. Men run from the arms of love. So sad. I will leave someday when saved enough money. Better to be alone.