One Child - Many Hats

In 2011, I wrote an article for the Akshaya Patra Foundation, an NGO with a focus on the midday meal programme for children. This organisation aims to serve 5 million underprivileged kids across 8000 Indian schools every single day.

Now, this Foundation has come up with a TV Commercial, that aims to highlight the plight of a child labourer, and the various odd jobs, these kids are required to do, every day, to get to that one hard-earned bowl of food. So if you thought your life was difficult, you need to see this video.

No child deserves to go hungry. Do your bit. 

Visit www.akshayapatra.org to see how you can help. 

My Tablet Saga

17th August, 11:30 pm

My client is on my ass for a clump of articles that I have been promising for the past month or so. I gulp my dinner and finally sit down to finish them off. All I need is 2 hours of uninterrupted silence so that she leaves me in peace for the next few days.

I know, I know, I have been procrastinating but there was much to do in office. That ass of a boss, Malhotra has been keeping me on my heels for the last few weeks and I couldn’t be seen doing freelance work there! I need the money so I can buy myself a proper laptop. Plus, the tablet “could do light work”, the girl at the electronics store had said. All I needed was to type in a few hundred words.

11:40 pm

I switch on my tab. Or rather, try to. I have been pressing the ‘Switch’ button for the past couple of minutes. Nothing. Dear Lord, please help. I paid 15K for this tablet and it’s not even been a month! Of course I could call their customer support; I called them the last time. They sent me a long email citing technicalities I did not understand. I press the button hard another time.

“Zzzzz”, the tab groans back to life. I sigh and get back to work.

12:00 am

I have 5 tabs open in my browser. I need to consult various websites for writing. But as soon as I open one of those tabs, everything I had typed in the other tab vanishes. Like magic!

‘No, no, no, no, no, no……”, I scream, “Come back, come back, back, back”, I cry out in terror. I had pressed ’Save’, but where did all the data go? Luckily I remember most of what I had written and I am able to reconstruct it. Well, somewhat. But the keyboard is hung. I type and type, nothing happens. So I wait patiently while the tab takes a nap, like a lazy pot-bellied government officer. After about 5 minutes, the words appear. There are spaces where I had not put any. Is my tablet possessed?

But no time to think of it now, my client just messaged me on my phone asking about the articles. The exorcism will just have to wait till another time.

I finish the articles and press ‘Send’, all the while chanting prayers. Thankfully, my tablet doesn’t throw any more fits.

18th August, 7:00 pm

So Tanya said she had uploaded our photos on Facebook. Even asked me to check what Rohan had commented. Something about my hair. Dimply curly-haired Rohan? About my hair? I can’t wait. As I throw my bag on the bed and take out my tablet, I am bursting with excitement. I unlock it and…unlock it and…unlock…why wouldn’t the darn thing unlock? I slide the ‘Lock’ symbol again and again but nothing happens. Damn you, silly tab, I could be in a smart-ass comment thread flirting with my love interest right now if not for you!

I throw the dumb tool on the bed and grumpily watch Arnab screaming his guts out. Someone should put my tab and its makers on that show. Would serve them right.

19th August, 3:00 pm

I logged into Facebook during lunch today. So Rohan likes my hair, hmm.  I wonder how I will wear it in the next office party. May be I’ll part it to the right. Or no parting at all. “So Miss Dasgupta”, a voice booms from behind, “Where are we on the content requirements?”.  

I almost fall off the chair as my arch nemesis, the Amrish Puri to my love story, the Voldemort to my Hogwarts: my boss, asks cheerily. “Client to revert”, I gasp as I barely close the window.

“By the way, nice hair”, the voice of Doom smiles before wandering off to the far side, presumably towards the direction of Rohan’s desk. Rohan’s desk! That cheeky devil. Reason why I never surf Facebook in office. Thank Heavens; he’s not on my friends’ list. Even so, he has now seen Rohan’s comment.

I need to be more careful.

And get my tab fixed. Today.

7:00 pm

“Madamji, hum sirf laptop aur computer thik karte hain”, the shopkeeper says in his heavy Haryanvi accent.

“Kar dijiye na bhaiyya, please?” The desperation in my voice is apparent.

He pulls open the rear cover of the machine and fidgets with a pin. If my tablet could feel, it would be feeling a lot of things right now. And it would know better than to ever cross me again.

As if it could actually hear me, my tablet trudges back to life. I swear I haven’t been this happy since my dentist fractured his hand in 2006.

I check my mail. Rohan has just sent me a PDF file. The subject: For You. I download the attachment but it won’t open. I try a variety of software programmes, even download the Adobe Reader but apparently, my tablet is too snobbish. At this point, the only thing keeping me from throwing the tablet away on the dusty roadside is the faith that someday, all of this will make sense. And of course, the obscene amount of money I paid for it.

I call their Customer Support again. They ask me to bring it to their nearest service centre. Which is 2 hours away.  I don’t have the time.

They have sent me a mail again. A longer one, this time.

As I begin to read it, my tablet shoots a warning sign. 4% battery left. 4%? Impossible. I haven’t even used the tablet for 2 days. But, even though it was hung over, the battery was ‘on’. So the power has depleted even though I haven’t used it.The tablet reminds me of a pet elephant; it takes more than it gives. Much, much more.

All I want is a tablet that will not die down on me. Is it too much to ask for a decent battery life even when all you use, consist of Whatsapp and Chrome? Here’s a revolutionary thing for a tablet to do: reading documents!

And when a tablet has aced these basic functions in an overcrowded but below-average Indian tab market, I’ll think of outrageous things to do.

Like illustrating ideas. An orangutan smoking cigarettes, a cat flying, a fish sitting on a tree branch, a chihuahua taking on a great dane.

And checking mail in the crowded Bandra local. And while taking showers. (You never know when an important notification might come up!)

I want a tablet that can do freaking handstands. Because really, why would you need a cumbersome keyboard when the best things come in small packages? And of course, it would help to have a stand mode for the recipes when I'm being the next Nigella in kitchen. I wouldn't want to serve ham in plum cake again.

I want to be able to lay my tablet down, without bothering about the sleek screen the next time nosy Sarita Aunty decides to sneak a peek at the community gala. (So I am a bit of a showoff, sue me.)

It would also be amazing if I could click photographs while skydiving. (Why not?)

From what I hear, the new Lenovo Yoga Tablet is pretty kickass at each of these things. Three modes, the stand, tilt and hold make it a versatile user-friendly machine. Coupled with a good battery life, the Android 4.2 Jelly Bean OS, a 1.2GHz quad-core processor and Dolby enhanced speakers, this tablet is a power-packed toy of fire. I was going through www.facebook.com/LenovoIndia and the discussions there seemed pretty interesting. Lots of people, same as me, totally clueless and disappointed with their tablets have found this a fun forum to share their woes and queries with the Lenovo team giving prompt replies.

I wish I could teach my tablet to read and aspire to be more 'yogic'. Sigh. It might be late for me, but as they say in 'Yoga', 'never lose sight of hope'.

The Beauty & The Beast

23 December 2009

Tomorrow would be the best day of my life. It was going to be my Graduation Convocation. I was so happy. I also had to look my best. What with all the cameras clicking around, I could not afford to look dull. I had to be at my shining best! The thing about convocation is, even after 40 years of your life, people will still look at these photographs. 

Accordingly I went to the best parlor in town. Got a bunch of their most expensive facials, manicure and pedicure. Advised some other customers on the precariousness of using beauty parlor products and how they should stick to herbal products only. The assistants in the parlor gave me a look. 

“But I’m not doing business, I thought. I’m just advising lost souls about skincare- which is as elementary as hygiene.” 

With this in mind, I went on and on about skin care and how the customer should buy herbal products and not that chemical trash they feed your skin at the parlor. ‘I know, it works. And it will work for you too’. Followed by that perfect white smile that you see on fairness cream ads. Or Colgate. Whatever.

And finally my beauty sleep ended. The assistants were still looking at me as if they would roast me alive if possible. But they were relieved to let me go. So was I. As I proceeded to the counter with my tower high nose, I looked carelessly for the 500 rupee note lying at the corner of my purse. It eluded me. “Naughty girl,” I smiled to myself. “Now don’t play hide and seek with me, Mummy needs you”. I searched and searched but there was no 500 rupee note! Only a worn out 50 rupee note.

A cold drop of sweat passed down my forehead. Panic. Blackout. My immediate reaction was aggression.  What! Those cranky assistants stole my money to get back at me! There I went to the parlor manager (who had already heard about my illustrious expertise as the next Shahnaz Hussein) complaining to her that I could not find my money. I had kept it there, yes in her parlor, and now it was gone! She was calm as she told me that none of her employees were thieves and I could go check anywhere I wanted to. 

Ears burning hot, I went and searched inside but could not find anything. As if they would keep MY money here after stealing it!

I was intent on foul play. However my paranoia was not going to get me out of there. Think think. I went back up to the counter again.

“Here ma’am I’d also like to trim my hair. It should be perfect. I have a function tomorrow.”

The lady nonchalantly pointed me to the hair stylist who spent the next half an hour styling my hair. After I saw it, I raised a fuss. “Nah, I didn’t want it that way. What have you done? It’s ruined!”

The stylist took a look and said, “But it’s perfect!”

“This is perfect? From what angle is this perfect? I look like a rabbit with a lion’s mane. How am I going to show my face tomorrow?”

I looked intently at the mirror and then picked up a spot in my cheek, “Oh no… It’s red. What did you put in my skin?”

The assistant looked at my skin intently and said, “Where? I can’t see anything?”

“Of course you can’t. I can feel it. I am having skin irritation.”

At this, the counter lady (who was also the owner) hurriedly came up to me. She looked at my face intently and said, “Look ma’am, I can’t see anything, everything is perfectly alright.”

I glared at her. Other customers were coming in and to add an element of authenticity, I started shrieking loudly. “This, this is what you call world class parlor? My skin irritation is getting the better of me. I will never come here again! Never.”

The other customers were equally surprised and looked at each other. The counter lady went to tackle them. I looked at them and said, “See what they did to my face. I’d run if I were you.”

The lady then came up to me and said, “Ma’am what is the problem?”

“Problem, problem you ask me? Tomorrow’s the biggest day of my life and you spoilt it all! Why will I pay thousands of rupees if I don’t get value for money? On top of that, you people have harmed my skin!”

“Ma’am, listen to us..”

“No you listen to me. I am never coming back again. I am horrified. God knows what your assistants will do to my face if I stay here any longer. Thank you so much for your time. And thanks for wasting my time. Have a good night.” 

With this I stormed out of the parlor, heaved a sigh of relief and promised myself to triple check my purse from now on. Even now when I go to a parlor, I pay the money in advance. That was an embarrassing moment that I’ll never forget. But as it is, good sense can rescue you from any situation!

A Bowl of Food

On the afternoon of 20 February, 2011, bloggers from all around India met in Kolkata at C II, Salt Lake. I was late as usual. By the time I went, everybody was having lunch. I was shown directly to the spacious hall where a lot of scrumptious dishes were present. Too embarrassed to eat anything, I sat at a corner. I mean, what kind of a person shows up at a meet right at the time of lunch? Only, I did not know they had arrangements for lunch. So anyway, I met some lovely people there, one of whom turned out to be my senior from college! The bloggers from all around India were very cordial and we could find some mutual thread, some invisible bond that bound us all. It was there that we made a pledge, a pledge to write about the Akshaya Patra Foundation that provides food for hungry children across 8000 schools in India. This is me keeping that pledge.


It's been some time. 


From the time we wake up in the morning, to the time that we go to sleep at night, we usually find a lot of things to complain about. Our house, our work, people that need us, people that we want for to need us.... But there are many street children who fight daily for the basic minimum requirements like food, water and shelter. Education is a luxury these kids don't even dream about. The government is trying to do its part. However at the same time, we have NGOs like the Akshaya Patra Foundation whose sole aim is to provide two square meals to these underprivileged children. 

Akshaya Patra started in Bangalore in 2000, with the aim to feed 1500 children. Today it is the world's largest NGO midday meal programme for underprivileged children. Right now it  feeds about 1.2 million children across schools. The aim of the Foundation is to serve 5 million children daily by 2020. In addition to reputation inside the country, the Foundation has also achieved the praise of US President Barack Obama who said that the foundation has “an imaginative approach that has the potential to serve as a model for other countries". The Harvard Business School and the Limca Book of World Records have recognized Akshaya Patra's model for precise time management. From children like Bhabhani to Minu (http://www.akshayapatra.org/stories-children), from kitchens at Vishakhapatnam to Puri, from Bangalore to Jaipur (http://www.akshayapatra.org/our-kitchens), Akshaya Patra has been monumental in driving away hunger, a fundamental problem of the country. 

Those who work with NGOs know that a big problem with the NGOs of India today is corruption. Millions of rupees from donations and funds are usurped. The money never reaches the needy. The Akshaya Patra Foundation has made a landmark in this field by being granted the Award for Excellence in Financial Reporting by the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India (ICAI) for the year ending 31 March 2010. In addition, it has received awards from the Indian Express, South Asian Federation of Accountants (SAFA) and Indian Urban Space Foundation (http://www.akshayapatra.org/awards).

The best thing about this organization is that they never ask you to help only by donating money. You can get involved in whatever you like. Volunteer, write, create awareness. Do your part. That's more than enough.

Have more questions? Visit www.akshayapatra.org.