Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A Good Day

I always have a complaint from my writing. It is this that I hardly write when I am happy. It is mostly when I am sad or tense that I write. It helps to relax me, calm me down. So tonight I have decided to wage war with myself and do something different. Tonight I am more or less in a happy mood. Day went well and in our counselling class we discussed how to manage parent-adolescent conflicts whereby most of us faced difficulties empathizing with the parents as some horror stories of how some parents tortured their kids to make them get good results were recounted. Overall, however it was fun. I also managed to say some bad things about a real sexy and rugged looking picture only because one of my friends liked it just to tease her. Sigh.

Memories came by as I sat down to reminisce about my adolescent life on a group work in today's class. The days where I kept my Biology book open while day dreaming about something else, about a certain 'someone', the huge fights back home when I used to think of a measure to rebel and to do things which would defame them all- just to rebel... the anguish, the despair all came rushing back to me..but ah..am I now too old to rebel or is it what the old folks call "maturity"? Is maturity the nice word which they use to say that you have lost the 'fire' mate, to rebel? To revolt?

Thinking of it now, did I ever have the courage to rebel? To revolt against something I did not like? I believe I had. In some things. Now I don't. Tied down by bonds of affection? Of propriety? Or is it the understanding that your actions affect more people than just you? But then did I always not know that? I believe I did. But may be the expressions would have been different then. And the expressions would be different now. But rebellion? I think I have done more rebellions after eighteen than I have before going to college.

How did it feel? To rebel against one's own inhibitions? It felt great. Absolutely awesome. To tell you the truth, the one thing that had held me back since a long time were my own inhibitions. Revolting against them gave me a feeling of defying the rules of society and family. I could try to achieve Pleasure, the supreme goal of man's life (pardon my overenthusiasm at quoting schools of philosophy). It is one goal that religion and society- any form of institution always tries to condemn. I was trying to achieve this pleasure....would I be able to? Could I? Time will tell..


RAY7 said...

It's not quite finished yet...Dipz was insisting. So I would read the entire thing later. But have to say this : You are the best sweety! Thank you...hehehe! Love ya loads! ;)

the silent observer said...

yes yes I am sure.. ;)