The Swine Flu Scare

Yes, I am back again. Very unlikely of me. But I had to write as I am feeling very agitated right now and writing is one of the things that helps me to get a grip on myself. I did not miss my HOD's class today! Yay!! I was only fifteen minutes late as compared to the usual thirty minutes late that I am most of the days.

So then why this post? As the name suggests, the Swine Flu scare has finally got me. And I don't know who to talk to it about because people only seem to make fun or snub me down (specially my elders) when I talk of this scare. Now what started it so suddenly? Swine flu has been around the block for quite some time now. I did not get agitated then. So what scares me now?

Truth of the matter is that when I got fever a few days back, my mother got really worried and kept on asking me to visit the doctor. I graciously refused. But got scared since then. So now thankfully, the fever has subsided. So I went to see my doctor for a regular check up and guess who else was there?

A patient who had fever and who had returned from foreign after staying there for about a month. Ah Lord! I came to know of it only after we had met the doctor. My sister had seen him earlier ofcourse. So had my mother and brother-in-law. Jesus, seemed like the only person not knowing that that man muffled up inside a heavy shawl was a potential threat was me.

And when I came to know about it, I did what I do best. Panicked. I am by nature a very timid person. Having a potential swine flu victim around me was the last thing I needed in my dreary depressive life. And on top of it, my doctor actually went to visit the patient without any protection. His relatives came up to the doctor's chamber when we were meeting him. They said his condition was serious. Our doctor went to see him as soon as he had finished with us.

And I was happy that he had seen us before going to see that patient. Wonder what would happen to the patients after us? Now when I think about it, is there any guarantee that our doctor has not seen potential swine flu patients before us? Aahhh..the futility of my panic. If I have to die, much less than die of swine flu will anybody be able to stop it?

But my attempt to rationalize by means of writing it down should also embody the reactions I received from people when I confided in them. My mother got worried but she consoled me that nothing would be wrong. My very rational brother-in-law who is in Pharma put forth a whole length of logic of how swine flu spreads only through phelgm and the man had been very far from me, to which I replied by saying that the virus can spread upto six feet distance. My sister tried to console me first but I guess my hysteria was too much for her. In the end she gave up and became angry.

In some ways or the other, I think that we all were scared some how or the other otherwise my panic would not have generated so much reaction. May be everyone was thinking about it, I just brought it out to the forefront. Oh where are the exercises for anxiety management when you need them? Oh that's right. I never practise them!

A few moments till now I had been talking with a few of my friends about this latest incident. Their reactions were varied. One of them living in the States told me not to kiss any guy as that is a common way for the virus to spread. She also told me that if any such situation arises, I should ask him before kissing him whether he has swine flu or not. Seems more potent a question than whether or not he is gay.

Two friends with whom I am very pissed off and who have been pains in the wrong place for quite some time really helped me to get out of it. One of them put forth a lot of logic and assured me that we should be careful but not panicky. The other one was empathetic and asked me to be careful in public places. Nice gestures from both of them. Doesn't mean I forgive them though. But all the same nice gestures.

I had this huge aggressive discussion with my brother-in-law about the flu getting to me by which he annoyed me (not irrationally mind you)and then my sister scolded me over the phone. I got so agitated that I cut the line and then contemplated reading a bit of Edward Cullen. May be he would cheer me up.

But this post and my chats have taken up much of my time. And I am HUNGRY!! Thought I would have no more appetite after tonight's incident eh..but what do you know? From 2:00 am I have to watch one of my favorite TV series, Supernatural- can't miss out on the two hot brothers there. Saturday and Sunday are holidays so I will just stay at home and see if there are any signs for concern in me and then react accordingly. I do just hope that I have the courage to face the truth if anything bad happens.

Before that I think I will fight a bit with the pains I have. One of them is already anxious and the other one will be agitated after reading this post, so I better get ready. After all, I may not be able to fight the virus. But no one said anything about friends, right? ;)

Goodie Night