Friday, January 08, 2010

Some True Facts about Men

1. Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.

2. Why are men so happy?
Because ignorance is bliss.

3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a
women?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already
there.

4. If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same
time,who would reach the ground first?
The woman, the man would get lost.

5. How are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both
last about 60 seconds.

6. How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a
bikini.

7. What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

8.
What did god say after he made Adam?
"I can do better than that." Then he made Eve.


9. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the
Olympics?
He had it bronzed.

10. What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.

11. How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake
the stove.

12. How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable."

13. What does a man consider to be quality time with his wife?
Pulling the sheets over her head and saying, "Great chili, Babe!"

14. A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of
35 think of?
Dating children.

15. What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

16. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

17. Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

18. How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

19. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the
circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.

20. What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
of driving.

21. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
Exchange him.

22. Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.

23. Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half
the time.

24. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

25. How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares!!!


26. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.

27. Why do men have slits in their underwear?
So they can get oxygen to their brains.


28. What is the best way to get a man to stop pestering you?
Stare at his crotch and laugh.

29. Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
So men can tell if they are coming or going.


30. How are men like parking spaces?
The good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped


31.
Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes?
It had a penis AND a brain!




P.S: This is something I apparently came across while accidentally typing in the phrase, "Why are men so dumb?" on Google. Dedicated to one of my very good friends and all the men of the world. Who would have known that the whole world is still trying to find the answer to my question? The Q/A series is not my own composition but merely a compilation of the questions and answers I found interesting. Hope you like it. ;)

4 comments:

Kabya said...

*sigh*

the silent observer said...

Yeah, I know, truth can be disappointing at times! :P

Sonia said...

Truth !

the silent observer said...

definitely!! :P