Saturday, March 27, 2010

A Torn Page from a Diary

Date: Any date in the Past
Day: Any day from Monday to Sunday

An Open Letter (Of course it's open only to me, not to you)

Dear Sweet Little Friend of Mine

You might wonder what prompted me to write an open letter(I know I know, it's in my diary, you can't read it and you are not supposed to read it. I just like the sound of it- you know 'open letter'!). Some days hence, the wait has been terrible. Wait, wait, wait for what? You might ask. This arrogance of yours, I can tolerate. This indifference of yours, I cannot. People say I have fallen for you. I contest them with all my might. Truth is, you mean a lot to me. Remember, I told you once, you are 11 years late in my life? All my life, I have wanted a friend like you. Someone who I could trust. Someone in front of whom, I could be myself. People think I don't care what they think. Truth is, I do. I am scared to be myself in front of them. But you are not like that. The remarkable ease with which you charm people around you, make them your fans shocks me. I can't be like you. I don't even want to be like you. I have my own uniqueness, you have your own. Anyways, so I was saying that it takes time for me to open up. But with you, I never thought twice. With you I was myself. Tell you a little secret? People don't have the ability to tolerate me the way I am. Everyone, the closest to me with whom I have opened up, have invariably left me. It pains so much when your closest ones, whom you love the most in life, drift apart from you. I did not want you to be the third. I never did. Truth is I never thought you would leave me. You sounded so convincing. And determined. You promised you would not think of me like that. Then why did you leave me? First time, it was a shock, I tell you. I could not believe that you had left me. I was numb. I was so scared of feeling the pain. I was devastated. Why would you do this to me? What wrong had I done? I deleted your memories from my life. But I could not delete them from my heart. You meant so much to me, and I knew you couldn't hurt me. Then why did you?

I realized may be it was not your fault. May be you did not understand you would hurt me. Some friends made me realize that may be, it was because you wanted to keep your friendship. May be you did not want me to have any misconceptions and therefore get hurt. You know what? Let me tell you the truth.

Truth is I have never wanted anything from you. Unless some friends really compelled me to think about it, I would not have even given it a serious thought. I never thought you would like me. You are so free spirited, so witty, so approachable, so kind. I cannot even aspire to be with you. You are a free bird in the sky. You are a star shining like a diamond in the sky. Excuse the poetry! Lol.

But you are, like a diamond! What can I say? You are so special to me that I don't want to lose you. You are very precious to me, like his heart was to Davy Jones! :P You are so delicate, so priceless that I want to keep you hidden in a chest and bury it somewhere deep, or throw it into the ocean! So that no one, specially I can get hold of it. Or else, I am scared, I would hurt you.

Frankly speaking, I would never let my feelings come in the way of our friendship. I never did want anything. You know why? Coz I know I don't deserve you. I have always known that. :)

I just wish you get all the happiness in the world. I wish you success and lots of best wishes. I wish you get the person of your dreams.

Yours sincerely
The ever silent observer

2 comments:

RAY7 said...

I have half a mind to forward this open-for-all letter to the person concerned.
Everyone deserves the best, so do you so don't rank yourself below any other being, even if it's a matter of the heart, yeah?

the silent observer said...

It was intended to be a torn diary page so is not meant for all.